There Were Plenty of Laughs, Too

Over the weekend, my parents came to help us with some landscaping work in the backyard. As we lugged wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of gravel and sand, we got caught up on our gossip and reminisced about old times and talked about how much my dad loves chili and grilled meats.

At one point, Aubrey said, "So many of John's stories about growing up just sound so sad."

My mom nodded in agreement.

Continuing, Aubrey said, "He told me a story once about sitting in the grass behind the tavern and making necklaces out of old pop tops from beer cans, and I just thought that sounded so depressing."

I chimed in, "Now, that I look back at it, it does kind of seem depressing I guess. But at the time, I was having a blast. I was really enjoying making those necklaces. It was fun. I didn't really think about it."

And I really didn't. I didn't have any perspective at the time that sitting among the sandburs and broken beer bottles scavenging for pop tops was even remotely depressing. I felt more like an archaeologist digging for fossils. And when I finished my necklace, I swung it, jangling, over my neck and marched proudly around showing it to everyone who would look.

It got me thinking that so many of the stories I've shared on the blog have been stories of sadness. Stories of loss. Stories of pain and suffering and of the acknowledgment that my family was often between a rock and a very, very hard place. But that's not entirely accurate. We also had a lot of fun. We also enjoyed a lot of things. It took imagination sometimes. And it took absolute stubbornness other times, but we managed to find joy in our lives, simple and difficult as they were.

I don't know why the urge in writing is so often to be drawn to the sad stories. I often think it's because we're drawn, as writers, to the emotional charge. It's energy. It's a grain of sand that we need to remove from the skin of our experience before it festers into a blister. We need to purge ourselves of those dark memories, or at least bring them into the light so they're not quite so mysterious and scary.

Rest assured, good readers, I do in fact have stories of joy. I have some things that will bring a smile to your faces, and hopefully even a laugh. I also have some stories that I think will shock most readers. The stories have depth and width and breadth. They range from joy to sorrow to self-loathing to disgust. Eventually you'll get to see them all. Just stick with me.

John